There are many days during the year when a single mom has to hand her children over to their dad. Whether the relationship is good between mom and dad or cantankerous, it’s never an easy thing to do. Personally, my ex and I still don’t get along. But I adore my children and they adore him. So when Father’s Day rolls around, I have to swallow my thoughts and pride and try to make the day as fun for them as I can. That often means that I have to help them with crafts, cards, and more. The first few years were tough but with some basic tips, we single moms can survive Father’s Day and come out unscathed!
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1. Make it about the kids
When you’re not in a good place with your ex, even helping with the kids get him a simple card can be hard. But if I make the process more about making my children happy and less about him, it makes it more fun! I could sit and watch my kids make drawings and crafts all day. So if I focus on the fun they’re having and less on who they’re making it for, I can enjoy the entire process as much as they do!
2. Plan a day with your own dad or a dad you appreciate
Though a day at home without my kids always seems busy to me, special holidays where you recognize people who are important in your life seem to come with a special air around them. When I have to be apart from my kids on those days, I try to fill them with other people I can celebrate. My dad lives a few hours away so it makes it harder to see him on Father’s Day. But I have a lot of friends who are important to me and I often make cookies or something to celebrate them! It just makes the day more about others and less about my kids being gone.
3. Celebrate the kids that came from the relationship
I’m the first one to admit that I have to tell myself over and over again that if it weren’t for their dad, I wouldn’t have these kids. I wouldn’t have this amazing life with these three little girls that I cannot wait to wake up to every day! So on Father’s Day, I have to put aside my judgements about his lifestyle, his choices, and anything else I’m dealing with and be thankful that I have these children. It makes the day more of a celebration than a stressor.
4. Understand that dads do deserve the recognition
There are a lot of things that a lot of dads do all year round that deserve recognition. In fact, there probably needs to be more discussion on how many dads are doing an amazing job not only putting their kids first but their marriage and family first, as well. So Father’s Day is an amazing day to say thank you! Just because I may have a very hard time seeing through the history of my marriage, I can teach my kids to understand that this day is about all dads and it’s well deserved!